I can't even find the words to begin.

I am fighting back tears as i bring myself to type this.

It hurts so much when i think about it.

It feels as if you've been slapped in the face real hard, like when you didn't see it coming.

My heart feels so heavy i don't know when i'll be able to pick myself back up again.

If i could turn back the hands of time, i would, if i knew it was going to be this hard, i wouldn't have allowed myself to venture into the unknown with you but i didn't say that i regret every moment spent with you.

Every moment spent with you was like nothing i'd ever imagine.

I felt cold when it was hot,

you never fail to put that smile on my face,

the way you looked at me until i have to force myself to look away because i feel so shy,

the way you said my name like no one else will,

the way you held me your arms which always made me feel so safe,

the way you'd stroke my hair ever so gently,

the way your lips would find my lips and we'd kiss, fast or slow, soft or hard, it was beautiful.

Did i ever tell you?

That i love kissing you?

Did i ever tell you that the butterflies you gave me never stopped?

Did i ever tell you that i hated it everytime you let my hands go?

Did i ever tell you that i love to make you smile?

I never told you that i named your smile, i call it the comfy smile because it was so darn adorable, makes me melt everytime.

My heart would race everytime we touched.

The way you would tell me stuff to comfort me.

The way you made me feel, i know they were real.

I don't know anybody else would have called it, but i know that definitely its something real.

The things that happened between us were special, you made me feel so very loved.

I can never bring myself to hate you because all the memories i have of you are happy.

You are going to be hard to forget but i know that this is going to make me a stronger person.

Whatever it is, only time will tell.