SCHOOL IS CRUEL

First day of school and I've attracted Punjabi people as my friends. The class is big and there's lotsa different people. We learnt marketing and i have to say that i'm a bit blurr. Oh crap, i hope i do ok in it. I shouldn't have sat in the back of the class! No hotties whatsoever! After school went to Patti's house but she didn't cook yet so Papa picked me up instead. Went to Al Ameen to eat dinner and papa sped all the way home.

Weekend awayyy.

Sunday

Nothing much really, stayed over at Patti's house and help her prepare for Papa's so called B'Day dinner. First went to Tanglin Halt Market and so familiar faces. I really love going back there. Whenever i go back, I reminisce about the place. I remember the old market, It was like a blast in the past. the hawker stalls were old, the flooring was rough, the place smelled like the drains but it was nice. Now most of the stalls are gone and i only remember seeing the Laksa uncle and the Morning Beehoon auntie and the Otah Otah uncle. I bet there are more but that's all i recall. Even the market stalls, most of them were there. The old market was really a dark and dingy place. I remember when Patti needed to get Rumpah for the curry, she'd go to this Indian Muslim lady's stall and the lady and Patti would gossip whilst mixing the Rumpah. I loved watching her mix the different colours of spices together. Hai, I feel like a small girl again. I saw Boaz and Cliffy. As usual, Cliffy would say stuff about Yiting, Blah di Blah. Went back to Patti's house and help her to cook the Ayam Masah Merah. When they came, everybody feasted and watched TV for abit. Went back home in a cockroached infested van and Papa got slapped with a $50 fine!

Saturday

Elize wanted to go to the MDIS open house. I don't know why she goes there when she already feels torn but anyway she still wanted to go. Met her at Commonwealth MRT and saw Marilyn and her Bithcy friend of hers. It was raining :( but we still went. Bused there and we were late. But we still got the "goody bags", YEAH! lame la. Saw really sick people. Guys in colourful stockings?? Hello! what is wrong with this world? They were sissy and bitchy boys. Saw girls in sports bras. I think they were dancers. Went in for like 15 minutes and Elize was like can we go? There was nothing much to see anyways. I could tell, she was pretty upset. You don't think i do elize? We went to have a late lunch at the Queenstown Food Centre. I had no cash on me so i needed to draw but queenstown is an Uluated place. Elize payed first for the chicken rice. Then went to Patti's house thinking Bell was there but she left with Patti to church. So it was me and Tata sleeping. Raymond chittappa came and we watched TV. Saw this show called Ancient Ink and did you know that you can tattoo your eye balls?

NANNN!

My brother made us pick him up from school for no reason. Mum and me were rushing because We woke up at 12.30? Wolfed our breakfast down. Didn't even have time to taste the coffee. Had a quick shower and put on clothes. I didn't even make my hair right and ma was nagging me To hurry up so i left with my hair soaking. We cabbed to Baker road. Eww, those ACS boys are Very immature. After that went to town and shopped again! Mum bought clothes i would never Wear and i bought a pair of shoes that mum thought was really sexy. I honestly thought they Were uggo. Nann was really pissed that we didn't get anything for him. Women, never bring a Male to shop with you. They are really from a different planet. So pacified him with a Oreo shake From Carl's Junior. PIG! Went home by train and there was a Anjadi, he bloody winked at me!
So sick! Finally reached Admiralty, Ma decided to do some groceries so Nann and me waited at The bus stop. We played all sorts of games you'd normally play in primary school. Nann kept Singing Check Yes Juliet but he tweaked the lyrics so they became like this, " Jack Ass Juliet". He also decided to sing some Banghra songs. It was so embarrassing.

Fictional.

Infatuation.
That feeling you feel, doesn't mean it's real.
I wish it were. You don't know but I'm here. I'm real. What i feel, it's burning inside, it's real or so I think but it's definitely there. Hurry up and start so i can forget you. Forget whatever Happened so i can start a new. Don't want to disrupt what's already subtle. Yeah, i think that Should happen. Get on with life you prune! Weird that i didn't give a damn about you from ago But oh, you're there, real like a heart beat. Gaddamitt!

Airconnnnn!

Oh air conditioning! i hate you! i can't sleep with the air con switched on. My nose gets all weird And i toss and turn and think. Because of the air con, i ended up waking up at 12.30pm! Yeah, i know, Pig like. Then Brought cookie down for a walk. It was so lovely, the sky. Sharp sky blue against all the tree's And the blocks. Wished i had a camera there and then.Could have taken a picture of what God Created. So beautiful. Had mmhhmm coffee and murtabak for breakfast. I call it breakfast because that's my First meal. Then Ma made me sweep the whole house when she very well knew that i had to go meet Bella at 2.15pm. As usual, i arrive fashionably late. Haha :)

WOOHOO SHOPPING!!!

I met Bella at the school bus stop. Mikki and Renia were going to town as well so we went out to together. Had lunch at Far East. At the usual place. We really gossiped alot. Talked about stuff People won't really want to hear. Especially a boy. Oh well. I didn't really feel comfy with Mikki And Renia there when i was shopping. I felt like i was holding them down or something. So Bella and me Bluffed them off. Sounds childish right? Then we went back to shopp! I think i spent like $200 on clothes. And the best part? I don't regret. I need more! A girl can never have enough Clothes! Bella and me can shopp together without feeling weird about stuff. It's not the same With other people. Anyway took a train back home. When i stepped inside the train, guess who i Saw? Isaac! Ever met someone for like 15 minutes and find that you have so many things in Common? It's strange but Isaac and me had many common things.
Supper

Ma called and asked whether i had dinner. I said no, so she asked me to came down to 888 and it Was like 12.05am?!!? It was weird for me because i have never gone out that late. So made my way there and oh, we had Blood Cockles, Sambal Stingray, Kway Chap, Meatball Soup! Yummo!
It was the first time i ever enjoyed the cockles. I was so full.

AT HOME.

The starting of school is creeping closer. This coming MONDAYYYYY! I'm nervous. It's going to Be an all new experience. I am so bored at home. I can't say it's the same everyday but i really Wished i did more. In the morning, after i get up, i make myself a cup of coffee and head to the Balcony to read. After Ma's cooked lunch, I eat and wait for Nan to come back home. When he's Home, i have to teach him. I really hate doing this. I know it's sort of my duty but i can't help it.
Today is Papa's birthday. He is 43. Old right? I think the age is really making him weird. Like he Thinks he's wiser or something. Still the same. I love you but wished you treated me more like a 17 year old not a 7 year old. I just collected pictures and boy are they goooood. Wish i could post Them but no scanner. I can't believe i had a dream of you! Of all the people in the world, It's got To be YOU! But it was nice. It would never happen in real life but hey, Atleast it was a dream.

Equals.

I don't understand this world. Who does? People only see the outside first before they see the Inside. Looks and skins, is that what makes a person? Most of what i've seen, People compare.
Know what it feels like to be told you are second to someone? It feels sad. It feels sad to know There's more to you but they don't see it. Well oh well.

Hmmm.
You're on my mind.

say my mind.

Alright, I'm not going to kid myself. So many things i've kept to myself. So many things i feel but Don't know how to express myself. I keep thinking and thinking, creating stories and images in my head only to make me feel better about myself. I hurt but not as much. I don't want to be like those girls who give up on themselves all because they don't get what they want. I know i'm different. I don't get what i want but i dream. I dream enough to make my head hurt and at the end of the day i pray and ask God, Is it all worth the imagination? Will things ever come my way?

Insomnia?
I can't seem to fall alseep. Patti says i think to much while i lie in bed. That's true but i cant help It. I wake up at the slightest of sounds and i can't fall back asleep. This has been happening for Quite a while. Damn, I really want to have a good sleep!
All day,
I think of alot of things,"when will i get my pay?", "what's there to eat?",
"what to take pictures off?", " do i have enough money?", just to name a few. Even when i read a Book, i trail away and daydream.
Orpheus Obsession.
I think i am having an orpheus obsession. I can't explain it. I think about orpheus. What Orpheus Does, think, feel, if orpheus thinks about me. It's too much. What makes me think of it More are Books, what i see on the streets. I want to fall but what if orpheus does not want to?
What if orpheus falls for eurydice? Too much and they pierce me like shards going through me.
But Nyx told me that im still young. People surpass all our beauty and think we are already Fallen for. And when our time comes, It will be magyckal. All heads will turn and wish their fate The same. But i told Nyx i can't wait for it to happen. I want it so bad it burns inside of me.

Felt like blogging again.

Only because i just felt i needed to pen (in this case type) down stuff.
I don't know why i have been feeling down lately.
Especially when i don't eat, i get exceptionally grumpy.
PMS maybe?
From the time i last blogged till now,
Obviously there has been many things that has happened.
Just to mention a few(as to where i can remember),
-I got 5 points for N levels.
-Elize topped the N levels.
-I started working at Kinokuniya
-Elize went to the Philipine's, England, Spain.(I know right!!)
-Pretty much had a routined holiday.
-Prom happened.
-Got accepted in MDIS.
That's as far as i bothered to think.
When i worked at Kinokuniya,
I made new friends, experienced new things, read alot of books and i just felt like reading even More.
Crazy right?
And i felt things strumming together in my head that needed to be released.
I thought of writting but i knew i'd be too lazy,
So blogging again would be the next idea right?
That's why i decided to reopen my blog again.
There's another thing i feel passionate about.
Even though i am new at it and haven't really produced fantastic results,
I just keep wanting to do it more.
It's PHOTOGRAPHY!
David got me started and ever since,
I have been enthralled by it.
I want to get the DIANA with my pay,
But i don't know which to get.
Even the way i see things,
I make my eyes feel like they are the lenses of the camera.
It's weird, the feeling.
There are alot of things i want to say,
But now,
I really need to sleep.