Last night's supper parody

My father is crazy. He come's home from work at 12 something and then
Leaves again to buy food?
He then comes home semi drunk at 3 am with food and slamming on our Room door to come and eat. None of us wanted to get up but he forced us To. He said that he didn't have a good day at work and we'd better get up And eat to make him feel happy. Kuku right? So we had Carrot Cake with Cockles (ewww right?) And Sambal StingRay. He was telling us stories of Himself when he was young. So everybody in my family had a late night. We slept at 4 am.

What did i do?

Papa, i think that last night's alcohol is still getting to you.
My dad woke me up this morning before he left for work.
He kissed me and said, " Thank you for being such a good daughter. I love You. "
I love my papa but when he said that, i felt squirmish.
I dont even know what i did to deserve what he said.
So Papa think's im not good enough to use the Nikon Camera.
Papa say's that i need to learn how to hold it and know some other stuff.
Hello? Like, I just want to experiment with the camera not actually be a Professional photographer. He said he will go through the camera book With me after he gets back from work.

" Papa, What is a Sperm Cell? "

My brother was going through the human body encylopedia and chanced Upon the page about human reproduction. He ask my ma about it but my
Ma was like, Ask your papa. So my brother calls my papa and ask's him What are sperm cells. Then he says, " Papa, are they from the dick? "
My papa laughs and says " No, They are from the two egg rolls."
It was hillarious. My brother ask's him " Does everybody have them? "
My papa say's " Yes, They do. "

The change?

They don't seem to like that you've changed.
He seems to be upset that you are closer to us.
Don't frett. They don't understand you that's all.
He's jealous that you've got the attention of someone.
Friends, We get shit from them once in a while.
We will feel that we hate them sometime's but we know we
Love them.
Boo them.