Rift

I am really sorry but it's just that i don't know how to talk like we used to.
I want to be like how we used to be.
Secretly, I wished you called me and talk like how we used to talk.
Remember when you told me that the two of you talk every night and i Told you that i felt jealous? That was true. It's like i have the feeling of Being replaced you know? But it's totally understandable but just give me Some time to go back to normal. I seriously think that it has been a long Time since we have had a proper one to one girly chat. I missed that. There's so many things i have not told you and you are the one person i am
Dying to tell. But when i have the urge to tell you, i feel not worthy to talk To you so i hold back. Now what we have is so fake and even you know it.
I miss you and love you so much but i don't know how to react to all this.

The rush with studying.

Yesterday has to be the first time i actually sat down and studied all the Way. I feel that i shouldn't have wasted my time all those days that im Suppose to study and now im feeling scared.

I suppose.

You called. I was shocked. Didn't expect you would but hey, im happy.
I think it's thanks to you. All this time i haven't said anything was because
Im used to it. Im sure you know how i am. But i am elated that we are Talking back to normal. Ohh, the power of the blog! Everything i had to Say, it say it here. I couldn't say it with my mouth to you because i was just Blocked out. I know you were pretty bummed out when i told you that i Didn't know what to say. All the emotions were rolling and i didn't know What to say. Sorry. But im glad i got to say some stuff. Maybe i didn't want To say anything because i had enough of all the butt kissery. Yippie!

Family time.

Sunday was family day.
Went to my nana's house because she cooked for everyone chicken curry.
The curry was so good i tell you. The flesh would just come off the bone easily. As a family, we laughed and told jokes to each other.
Tata i love you so much. Went home really late.

Monday

Volleyball and Taiti. That's what happened.


Tuesday

Today wasm our last day for school.
No more classrooms to go to.
No more walking by the corridors with the traffic of Fairsians.
No more recess.
No more fooling around.
Im going to miss everything that has to do with Fairfield.
We had our thanks givinng and it was BORING. Hannah's speech was so Uber long. And the guys spiked thier hair and made an entrance.
We went back to class and exchange our info and we took pictures. Lot's of
'em.

Soori :)

Sorry that i haven't been filling in.
Prolly just lazy.
But let me fill you in now,

Last Saturday.

So last Saturday Grace's B'Day.
I thought i could not go so i lied to her and said that i was busy.
Later her dad called me and said he wanted me to come and he would talk To my dinosaur of a dad. I could go in the end.
Arrived fashionably late as usual.
Grace looked so glamorous. Vintage looking. Blue.
Saw my not so close cousins. Jason looked at me all weird and said Something i didn't catch. Even though Grace and my other friends Don't meet often, i know we still love each other. No matter where we left Off, we can still go back to how things were. I know i can always go back.
That's what i love about them. I miss the incesant chatter, the gossip and The bitching, the pakat-ness.

The rest of the week.

The rest of last week was the week i had the obsession for volleyball.
Playing and playing until my hands were sore and every morning when i Woke up, my whole body would be cramping. It supposed to hurt but i feel Good. I know im crazy but everytime i hit the ball, I hit it with all i've got. All the anger, sadness, the mixed feelings all released. I just need to play.
I guess i'll have to get my own ball soon. God! That fool is getting on my Nerves. Im happy that bella is finally hanging out with us. Oh, i miss you So. Went to Tiong Bahru and just talked with them and eat.

Missery loves company right?

I bet you saw it. I tried to control it. I feel distant. I already lost the one Person i knew i could call and and talk too. She has her own friends now And just the thought of calling her would be weird even though we started Hanging out these past few days. I'm already slipping. Putting on a smile to Let them know i'm alright even though inside i'm hurting so much i can cry A monsoon. Everyday the futher we fall apart, the further my heart breaks To know that we will part and the future is not certain. Whenever we have Crushes or BF's or GF's, It's totally normal for us to over react a bit right?
As in they are the only ones that are in our minds and we do stuff that Normally has them involved. It's not the first i have had friends who grow
Apart because of their BF or GF or crushes. I'm not saying anything but This is how it normally is but i don't know why i feel hurt. I still love Them but there is always a rift whenever these things happen. And i know that you have been trying to tell me how you feel and you want this to work Out and i know i have not been saying anything. I have to say im sorry but It's just that i dont know what to say. I don't know how to go back to Normal. When you started to say those stuff, i started to cry over the Phone. It was true what you said. I just feel lonely. I have to take back
What i said. I really thought that we would all be really close by the time The year ends but seems like slowly, one by one, we start to slip away.
I miss you but i don't know how to react to this so i prefer to keep a safe a
Distance untill everything seems to be ok.

Come on, it's me you're talking to
There's something going on inside of you
Don't have to say it, but I wish you would
Cause it would be much easier
You always hide behind yourself
You walk a lonely road with no one's help
I hate to break the news
You're headed for a fall

And if I have to jump
Then I'll jump
And I won't look down
You can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull
Until your walls come down
And you understand I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with you

By The Handful.

Thank you. The two of you are gracious enough to say all those Compliments to me. I don't really receive them and it felt nice.

Wetwilly's And Nose Boogers

Thanks to ronald. Sick gooey stuff went on me. I still remember the Semakau incident. Ronald spat out of the boat and i was at the other end of Where he was standing, and it landed on me!!!
It was so gross.

So Called Lantern Fest Fun.

I brought my brother along. First we had dinner at Dover coffeeshop and Naka and Jacob broke their fast and wacked the food. Oh, Tze Fook. You Are so funny. He hugged my brother and said " Wah, you are so cute! " It Was hillarious. We went to the roof top garden. We played Taiti and i Must say Johnson is getting very good.

I Wonder How They Can Tahan You.

Lights.

Ohh.

Pretty Chewed.

I went to school late. And my dad wrote the same excuse as always Whenever we are late.
Well, School is School.
Miss Midget caught Damia, Ronald and me during Fairsian Connect for Talking when she very well knew that the whole student body was Talking.
Like she's so short that we looked down on her while she shouted at us.
Shout and Shout. Made us wait for her while she finished her other Businness. But the lucky thing, We were suppossed to get 1 demerit but she
She said no point because we were going to graduate in a months time so She made us say sorry.

Damn Those Korean Shows.

I watched the Millionaire's First Love. OMG! It was so nice.
These damn korean show's always make me start a crying jag.
You can just cry and cry. But they are so nice. Another good korean show is
My Father ( I think that's what it's called. ) I was watching it with my dad Around and i had to cry in front of him.
Humilliating.

More books please!

I wished i lived in Borders or Kinokuniya.
Call me crazy but just falling into the fantasy world of the story is Wonderful. Haha! I know im crazy. I am going to finish the book i just Bought. I can go faster but i am pacing.
I want to buy moreeeeee.

Different Treatment.

It's not fair papa. You are more strict with me but not with bella.
It's like, When i go out, You think i am going out with " some " people.
You are really unfair. Maybe that's why i am like that with you.
Don't blame me. I cannot be like bella. I don't want to grow up to be like You.

Day Out.

Went out with my classmate' to do the so called yearbook " thingy "
Supposed to propose a design for the page. Didn't turn out so good as all we Said was a bunch of crap and we called it a day of thinking.
Naka said the library was to quiet so we left for a louder place and left the Budding love birds to study. We went to the CityLink underpass. All the Future dancer's of Singapore dancing. I decided to go to Borders to utilise My Gift Card. I bought myself a book and a pen. The book is called CRANK. It's the first time i am reading something like modern poetry.

The Party That Get's Emotions Rolling.

It was auntie Lyra's Birthday party.
All my family friends were there.
Everything was going fine untill the Dad's had their share of alcohol.
And let's just say that the wive's weren't very happy.
Uncle Leon downed half a bottle of The Famous Grouse.
And he went hay-wire. He looked like he was going punch someone.
He kept saying to Everybody " don't you dare touch my wife! "
It was kind of embarrasing for everybody because of the alcohol.
But for the kids of course it was fun. The thrill of watching the adults
Make a fool of themselves was great. Without the alcohol, the act all
Parent-like. No doing this, No doing that. But as the alcohol was being Absorbed by the blood stream, None of them payed any attention to the

Surprise, Surprise

We had our N'level English Paper 1 & 2.
Paper 1 was easy enough but i can be too sure because what if the
Marker is strict? I just hope I pull through for that paper though.
Hmm, Paper 2.. Let's just say that it kept getting harder. I alomost did not
Understand the section with the mountain part. Mr. Ow never went through questions like that but I guess I can do it. The question I spent the Longest pondering on was the multiple choice questions. It was so Confusing for me. I had to keep checking. So five papers down already.
So, After the paper's, went to play tennis at Ronald's house. Tennis was quite a shame because the ball kept going everywhere. We only manage to get it right a few times but I still had fun. After the game, We sat at
Ronald's house stairwell and he brought out the "good's".
Jack Daniel's chocolate filled with whiskey and Absolut Mango Vodka.
The chocolate was nice but the filling was not palatable for me. Then what's The point of eating the chocolate's right? Haha, i dont know why as well.
And the vodka, It smelt so good but absolutely disgusting. I really dont like The taste of alcohol. It was hard to swallow the vodka. So we drank, Ate chocolate's and reminisced about the past.
As usual i was late when i met Dinesh. I was supposed to be there at
4 O'clock but i arrived at 4.20? At first i did not see him so i assumed he Punked out on me then he came and i was surprised.
He looked different. More smart looking. Maybe it's me, But he seemed Shorter. The both of us went to eat at Mac's. We had a good laugh. He kept
Making fun of me. He sent me to the interchange after we were done and Some how he looked at me funny when the bus arrived. All traces of being
Funny were gone and was replaced with seriousness. Weird for me i guess?